My New Storys no title yet

Hey there! I'm finally back into writing stories. But there's always a feeling that I couldn't make it again. It feels like the spark has gone out, if you know what I mean. Anyways, I'm just happy to finally get back to track, atleast. :)

Help me, LORD!

I have been looking certain ebooks, and i just cant find one! i feel so frustrated now! but i know this happens for a reason. help me GOD! and surprise me oh Lord!

TALK TO ME

So last day, think it was Tuesday, I and this friend of mine whom I've had a - oh, who shouted on me in the whole silence of our Spanish class talked to me. Well, actually, i promised not to be her friend anymore, just a classmate. But then it turned out that that space i needed will never be given again unless we have another misunderstanding again. It's hard not to talk to her basically, because we sit next to each other in almost all of our classes. And besides, it's a test on our friendship too i guess. ooh betters take it that way. and oh.! we watched 'Letters to Juliet' and 'Bucket List' in their apartment last Friday afternoon. So, we're back to being friends now. An i glad? Maybe yes.

I'm back again... with a lot of thins to tell and share. Well most of these things are not good to me, and this is why i am here. But that doesn't mean that i'm only supposed to write here whenever I feel bad about something or someone.

So the last few days, there had been lots of happenings which I am about to share.

 Saturday...
 I went to the library to read some books. And so did I. But how can I resist the drowsiness that I was feeling with the cooler so coooool, and nobody bugging around me? So I decided to stop reading, re-positioned my body, put the headphones on- with the music, and put the book under my head as a pillow- and dozed off for a great nap. I think I could almost be stuck in the library for hours- alone- if I wasn't able to wake up right away. I opened my eyes and saw dark vision. The lights were off. Chug. My mind flashed a lot of pictures- moving pictures of zombies coming out from the different corners of the library, ready to beat and eat the whole of me. I gathered my things and headed right to the stairs, and on my way, i spotted someone behind the bookshelf, holding a book. And it turned out that he was the student assistant, who is actually my friend. I smiled and continued walking- or shall i say, half-running? Then I realized it was already 12noon, the time they are supposed to close. Yikes! Thank God I was saved by the last remaining seconds!

Sunday...
I just met the meanest girl in school! We were having our culmination in swimming class. And our section was, of course, the rivalry of their section. But we were better than them in terms of team-attitudes, and team cooperation. We were leading in the game water pol when she thrust her long, pointy fingers on my bare back, on my flesh. She almost scratched my back. The nest time our fate crossed was when we were actually swimming after the ball. Water splashed my eyes so I wasn't- we weren't able to see well. When I opened y eyes, her hand was in fist and ready to punch my face. Why, I didn't do anything to her. Err. After the incident, I lost the aura to have fun, and to enjoy the activity.

Today...
After watching the movie "THE SECRET", which was recommended by my P.E. teacher, last night (Monday night) I started to make some changes in my life. The Secret was and is really something that might/will change you the way you live your life.So basically, I am here to share to you something that made me feel bad today, not advertising this movie (well, the movie is really good, you MUST watch it).
(Oh,today, I got hired in my interview as a Web Content Writer in my Speech class, not actually a real interview, it's basically for our finals.)
Morning and afternoon. I was sooooo pissed off with this friend of mine. And this afternoon was the worse. She just SHOUTED on me "SHUT UPPP!", in our Spanish class while silence was in every corner of the room. Ouch. I was just concerned with her honestly because we were supposed to make 10 Spanish question with answers. And mind you, she was just reading a Fashion Magazine.  Not that I want to control her, but I told her to set it aside first and do the seat-work, because honestly, if she couldn't do it right away, before the bell rings, I would be affected. I would have to wait for her... Just like what happened earlier that morning, but it's a different story, though. So there, she shouted on me, everyone in the room turned their look on us. I got offended of course, so by the incident, I was reminded of the movie she introduced to me, The Bucket of list". One guy said there, "Just because I told you my story, does not invite you to be part of it." So fine, I may even want to have a little space with her actually. Honestly, I wanted to have SPACE.

This time, i have nowhere else to go. We have just finished the ROTC Formation at the field. I have no pen in hand, and no piece of paper to write down what I have been feeling for the whole week. Okay. So I was just having quarrels with my father. JUST. He hates me. And maybe I hate him for that too. He yells at me, but I don't. OF COURSE. If you are going to ask me what this whole thing is all about, MY BEHAVIOUR. My behaviour? towards what? I do not really understand my father as of now, but honestly, I missed that way we were before. I used to be his little girl, I used to ride him in piggy back. I used to laughing with him. Now, I get all of his wrath, his yells and shouts, his raging anger. Why? Because I have grown up. Grown up?

You know, it's really hard to have someone inside the family hating you. Especially when you are at my age. It's hard. I woke up today and went to the training without having breakfast. Not even coffee. Let alone water. It's just that I wanted to eat but his chastising me is really pushing me out in the house. I am so sick of it all. NOT THAT THIS IS AN ACT OF REBELLION. It's just that I want to be somewhere else not home. Not around him. I know I should understand him, because he's my father. But things get worse when we're around each other.

There are things I want to do that he doesn't like, i.e., listening to music, reading books, and I think all of my lovely hobbies. He thinks that I have changed since I got the new phone my aunt gave me, I was blinded by the phone, according to him. BLINDED BY THE PHONE? Come on. Even when I just had that black and white NOKIA Phone, I was already into phones because I have friends far away from my place and I have obligations and responsibilities in school that I have to be attentive with my phone if there are any urgent and important messages.

What's worse about this scenario is that I feel like crying. I feel less loved, well my mother loves me, and she defends me against my father. And I feel like all of my damn efforts have turned into dust. Robin was right, achieving something almost yearly can become "not achievement" anymore. (Oh, Robin is a character in a true story book, bet she's at my age.)They expect that you "get" something again, and there is no more appreciation and recognition of what you have achieved at all. It seems like it all is but an ordinary event. And I hate that. Not that I want them to give effort praising and flattering  me, but at least make me feel that they are proud of me.

So, I wrote int his blog because I have no one else to share this to. I felt like crying lately, but I don' want to cry in front of everyone else of course. So where do I go after this? Second floor of the library. Look for a book and try to be busy.

Oh yeah, another thing. Having no boyfriend is not an issue to me at all. Because it seems that everyone has a love life. My Friends. Have boyfriends. But I don't care. Love is sweeter and more meanigful when you waited much longer. ♥

17 Dreams.    17 Things.

In 17 Years.

Tic-tac. Tic-tac. The clock goes… the rain pours… the window opens… and a girl awakens.

It was 12 midnight and the whole place was bounded by silence and was doomed with the patting of the raindrops in the window glasses and roof. Thunders rumbling like giant rocks rolling over the ground, lightning flickers all over the dim skies and dark clouds…“No… no… no… this is just a dream!” the girl squealed in horror as she opened her wide eyes, sweat filled her whole three-angled face. She dashed her thick purple blanket and rushed outside her bedroom, bringing herself in great terror as the rumblings succeeded into louder and heavier vigor. But the strong winds closed the door and left her with a bang. In panic, she crawled down on the floor and crept into the table. A dark, big, and thick-furred monstrous shadow appeared on the wall as she hid herself under a table in a corner of the room. She closed her eyes and placed her hands on both side of her ears. In a nick of time, the horrific creature disappeared and the grumbling of the thunders and lightning stopped, and the heavy downpour ceased from falling onto the earth.

12 midnight from the day of October first. I woke up from a dreadful dream like when I was still seven, and then I realized, it’s already the 2^nd of October.

I climbed down from the deck and turned the lights on. I rubbed my eyes with the back of my hands and blinked many times before finally heading to the table and grabbed a seat from behind and sat. I was horrified by that dream, not because I was afraid of the creepy creature, but I was worried about what that little girl could’ve been if my dream continued. Why did I not fear? That’s one thing I am supposed to know. But through the mistiness and solemnness of the night, I couldn’t help but just stare at the empty space and think of anything that would pop up into my mind.

The first thing came out to my mind, was that, at this very moment, at this very minute of the night, I have just turned 17… then another thought came out again. The second thought was kind of a bizarre.

Not in the sense that I didn’t think of it before, but it was actually the first time that I started counting and enumerating my dreams, and I realized, my dreams are too much, and too good to be true.

I sat idly in the white plastic chair where I laid my legs and stretched it to the other chair ahead, facing me. I grabbed my headphone from a cabinet beside me and that old-fashioned mp4 that hang at the end of the headphone wire as it was reeled into it. I turned it on and the music started playing. Slowly, I closed my eyes and began imagining my dreams. Well, sometimes, we couldn’t dream of our dreams if we don’t think of it, so by this time, I really did think of it, but I never have fallen asleep, honestly.

It is my dream to be a pianist…

            It is one of the many frustrations I have in my life. I want to play my fingers with the keys and make a very wonderful harmony out of it. I want to hear the sound of it as I press my fingers unto keys.

----to be continued.

I'VE JUST REALIZED

                                        

 

             I am taking up a course I never had in mind since birth or --- ever in my life! It was just when I came to the school I'll be studying that my father thought of having me taking up the course. Recently, I was thinking I am slowly liking my course, but then it was then things turned odd. very odd and Im very very tired of being like that every now and then. Do you know the feeling of being - ignored? I know everyone, even the Hollywood artists, have experienced something like this, but this is -- urgh! Nah, forget it.

              Well, I am an aspiring writer, I want to write and my strength is i guess in there. It's where I think i excel. But just these past few days, I realized, I can pursue a course I am not really familiar with, and yet, not losing grip to what i really love to do. It has been my dream to become a lawyer. Yes, and last day, I was wearing a lawyer-like attire. And i thought, 'hey, i want to wear  this everyday. And i have read a lot of books whose authors are actually lawyers, but currently full-time writing again. So,somehow, I was enlightened in a sense. Well in my course, I can proceed to law. So I can still do it. Well, If i have enough money for financial stability.